You also might be in Ukarumpa if . . .

. . . you remember that you have invited eight people over for dinner, but you only have six chairs. So 45 minutes before your guests arrive you call your next door neighbours and ask to borrow two chairs from them. And their dining room chairs are exactly the same as yours.

You might be in Ukarumpa if . . .

. . . you are out for a morning run and you see an airplane parked in somebody's driveway.

Boat ride

Speeding down a river in Gulf Province:

Gulf Pictures

To see a few more pictures of Gulf Province, go to:

http://picasaweb.google.com/pngsurvey/GulfProvince#

Don't wade in this water, children!

This river in Gulf Province serves as a natural sewage pipe. The bathrooms are built over the river, and gravity and currents do the rest . . .

My soundproof recording studio

On survey, when I'm writing down a list of words in the local language, I nearly always have perfectly ideal conditions. A level table on which to set my recording equipment. A comfortable chair for the person who is telling me the words (and usually one for myself as well). A quiet place, free from distractions or outside noises that might interfere with the recording . . . . You don't believe me, do you? I can tell by your skeptical silence. OK, OK, if you want to know how it really goes, watch the video.

The simple life

Shopping for a watch can be a bit overwhelming. Should you go to Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, J.C. Penny's, or K-Mart? Do you want a digital watch or one with hands? Buckle strap, velcro strap, clasp strap, or that stretchy metal kind of strap? Leather or synthetic? A cheap watch that won't be a big investment, or a nicer one that might last a bit longer? I know, it's SO complicated!

Not in PNG! The other day my (cheap Target digital synthetic velcro strap) watch that serves as my alarm clock finally gave out on me. So I went to the only store in Ukarumpa and bought the digital watch. The other one had hands. And I don't mean I bought the digital variety of watch. I quite literally bought the digital watch, because there was only one. They will probably order another one now that I bought that one. Ahhhh, the simplicity of life in PNG.

Of traffic laws and trees

It had already been an eventful morning in Gulf Province, and it wasn't even lunch time yet. We had set out early in an ambulance that was going to pick up a patient in a village two hours away. To get there, however, we had to pass through a check point established by a local logging company, where we discovered that the guy driving the ambulance had an expired drivers' license and wasn't allowed to proceed. (Don't worry, though, the patient we were going to get was not in critical condition. She had already been treated and was just waiting to be brought back to her own village.) After several hours of searching for someone who had a valid PNG drivers' license and was willing to drive two hours each way, we finally set off again. We hadn't been driving for more than twenty minutes, when we suddenly stopped again, and as I looked out to see what was going on, my heart sank and I quickly hid the GPS I was holding. There was a large tree laid across the road, making it impossible for cars to pass, and on the other side of the tree several people were waiting. For us? I had heard stories of road blocks and hold ups . . . if you make it impossible for a car to get by, it's much easier to make the car stop and convince the people inside to give you all of their money. I had never personally encountered such an obstacle, but I figured my time had come at last.

Don't worry, though! We soon discovered that the tree had simply fallen across the road by accident, and the people on the other side were doing the same thing we were: wondering how on earth to move it. One industrious guy immediately set to work chopping it on one end so that it could be dragged away.

But dragging a large tree off the road is easier said then done. Thankfully, we barely had time to wonder how we would accomplish such a feat when the answer to our dilemma arrived:

And we were off again, driving down the gravel road in an ambulance in search of people who spoke the Kaser language.